If You’re A Broke Alcoholic

“Money will make you more of who you are. If you’re a broke alcoholic, you’ll be a rich alcoholic. I had a $15,000 bed but couldn’t get any sleep. I had 10 cars but wasn’t going anywhere.”

To have a list of “favorite quotes” is fairly common. If you need proof, sign up for any social network-type site and you’ll soon find all the sites have a section for this type of list. A quick search for “book of quotes” on Amazon.com returned 7,622 results. Why are quotes famous? Why are simple statements from random sources popular?

1. Because someone has stated an observation or feeling that we’ve observed or felt, too, but couldn’t find the accurate words to express.

2. We want to be inspired. We want to laugh. We want to know that we’re not alone in our feelings of happiness, joy, anger, curiousity, or hunger for life’s meaning.

So we cling to the quotes we relate to, the ones we wished we thought of ourselves. Quotes that draw their arms around us as if to say, “It’s ok to feel this way.” Quotes like the one listed above are hard to hear, though. It’s quite counter-cultural to say anything about money not satisfying. Especially when the person who said it was one of the most prolific football players in recent history. After chasing the things success brought him, Deion Sanders realized it was all meaningless in the end. I wonder if he was reading the Bible at all…Ecclesiastes, maybe?

“Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.”

The very next chapter of Ecclesiastes includes text that has been used in music and movies for decades. The Byrds made this song famous:

Samuel L. Jackson, Matthew McConaughey, Kevin Spacey and Sandra Bullock starred in this feature film:

I challenge you to search around and find quotes you can relate to. Find something that inspires you and hold tight to it. Memorize the words and recall them when no other words can quite grasp what you’re experiencing. And for a second challenge, come up with your own quotes. You’re an original and every generation needs someone who’s not afraid to speak their mind and pour out the emotions in their heart. One day, many years from now, you may be the person other people are quoting.

“He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land. And I’m happy, tonight. I’m not worried about anything. I’m not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.”

The very next day, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. saw more than just the Lord’s glory, he saw the Lord himself.

“He that but looketh on a plate of ham and eggs to lust after it hath already committed breakfast with it in his heart.” (C.S. Lewis)

Popular YouTube Videos

I’ve been posting videos online for 4 years. To date, there are 153 videos under the Driftwood145 label. I’ve listed the 12 most-viewed videos below and descriptions of each. Which is your favorite?

Boney M: Hooray! Hooray!
views: 3,425,401
I discovered Boney M in 2006 when I was in Vietnam along with my sister and brother-in-law who were adopting a baby girl. We were in a taxi, the driver had a disc playing. The two songs I remember hearing were “Rasputin” (which is another great hit from Boney M) and “Hooray! Hooray!” Boney M has been popular internationally since the 1970s and were produced by the same guy who later produced Milli Vanilli. This video gets views from all over the world, especially outside the United States. Here’s the monster international hit, “Hooray! Hooray!”

Boney M: Mary’s Boy Child
views: 543,994
Probably my favorite Christmas song of all time. This also could be Boney M’s most well-known hit simply because it’s played on radio stations around the world during the Christmas season. The song, the video, both are great. I love this band from the 1970s. Here’s Boney M’s Christmas classic, “Mary’s Boy Child.”

Football Hit / Green Bay vs. Jacksonville
views: 194,403
This video was recorded in the 2007 NFL pre-season when the Green Bay Packers played against the Jacksonville Jaguars. Desmond Bishop (#55) laid a hit on Reggie Williams (#11) that popped his helmet off. Some say it was because of his dreads, others just admit it was a good hit. But also a good job holding onto the ball. This video proves pretty well that people like watching football hits.

Lost Error
views: 133,270
If you don’t watch Lost, this video will be lost on you. Here, Charlie is in the Looking Glass Station, held as a prisoner not long before he died. Charlie gets punched in the face. No blood on the face. Then he has blood on his face, then later, the blood is gone again. Small mistake, but a mistake nonetheless. Here is the Lost error…

Bike Wreck
views: 93,314
The title pretty much explains itself. Except the bicycle rider does a matrix style exit off the bike, thus avoiding a collision with the mailbox. The video has been picked up by America’s Funniest Home Videos and has aired on that show a few times. Check it out!

Taylor Swift Star-Spangled Banner
views: 72,781
Taylor performed the National Anthem on a Thanksgiving NFL game featuring the Miami Dolphins and the Detroit Lions. It was November 23, 2006, quite early in Taylor’s career. Surprisingly, this is probably the most controversial video on my YouTube page. Comments range from calling the performance amazing to blasting Taylor as a terrible singer and ruining the song. What is your take?

Zac Brown Band perform “Free” on Late Night with David Letterman
views: 77,050
“Free” was released on April 12, 2010 on the album “The Foundation.”

Surprise Marriage Proposal
views: 59,310
I was working at Kanakuk Kamps in Lampe, Missouri in 2000. One of the staff members was about to take a day off to spend it with his girlfriend. She came to the front office to meet him there. From there, they were going to walk to the car. Once they left the office, the guy faked an ankle injury. His girlfriend went to the office to get the first aid kit. Little did she know the ring he would offer her was in the first aid kit! So she brings it out to him. He talks about how much he loves her, etc etc etc. Then he switches knees, pulls out the ring, and shocks her by asking her to marry him. Once she says yes, you can hear the campers cheering in the background (some with bottle rockets). Very creative way to propose!

Play Beyonce Clown off, Keyboard Cat
views: 39,680
Not much can be said about this one. Two videos were already on YouTube. I combined them. Here it is:

The glory days at Florida State
views: 17,121
This team featured Chris Weinke, Anquan Boldin, and a few other star athletes. The NC State Wolfpack featured the quarterback, Phillip Rivers. He was a cheap player back then, as you can see in the video. Can you tell I’m not a fan of Phillip Rivers?

Marching Chiefs… Florida State Band
views: 14,781
This performance was from the night before the 2007 Music City Bowl in Nashville, TN. There is no band like the Marching Chiefs. Here’s their performance of “Seminole Uprising.”

Vietnam Karaoke
views: 11,221
I went to Vietnam in 2006 with my sister and her husband. They were adopting a little girl and I tagged along to videotape the process. More videos can be seen on my YouTube page about the whole adoption process, meanwhile, though, check out the experience I had singing karaoke one night in Vietnam. They do it different there, it’s not in front of a bunch of people you don’t know. We got our own private room with a television and a couple of couches. So then we sang songs in front of each other in the little room. And yes, the last song on this video is “Beat It” by Michael Jackson. Enjoy!

The Dos And Don’ts of Online Dating: The Date

The purpose of online dating is to take the conversation off the computer and into a face-to-face encounter. Soon the website won’t be needed and it’ll be up to you to keep the relationship afloat. It may be going well and everything seems hunkle-dunkle till you’re at an art exhibit with your date and you hear her say, “It looks like a fruit basket,” but she’s not looking at a painting, she’s looking at you! It can happen that fast people. The things you do and say on the first date will determine if there is a second date, and a third and a fourth and a fifth. Here are some general guidelines.

Dating Your Matches:

DO: Most importantly, say yes when a match (who you’ve been communicating with consistently) asks to meet you in person. Like I said in the post about communication, there’s no point in joining a website to find dates if you never go out on dates.

DON’T: Deny every single date offer because you’re waiting for “The One”. The old wise quote comes to mind, “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you always got.” So take a chance.

DO: Plan activities you both will enjoy, and do those together. Whether it’s Mexican food for dinner, or just dessert, find something that keeps you comfortable so you can really show off who you are.

DON’T: Agree to go somewhere you know you don’t like. If you don’t drink coffee, Starbucks is not a good idea.

DO: As a gentleman, offer to pick them up on the first date.

DON’T: Insist on picking her up. If she declines your first offer, she’s probably playing hard to get, right? Wrong, creep! Offer to pick her up once, then if/when she declines just meet her at the date location.

DO: Show up to the first date.

DON’T: Sit in a booth near the kitchen. Nothing kills the mood like glasses clinking and odd smells. Which reminds me, don’t sit near the restroom either.

DO: Men, be assertive. One person will be the leader in this relationship, make sure it’s you.

DON’T: Pretend you’re perfect by saying all the right things. Second to sitting next to the kitchen or restroom, it’s the behavior that smells the fishiest. For more on this, research Jake Pavelka of Bachelor fame, most notably his cat fight with ex-girlfriend Vienna. I’m sure it’s on YouTube.

DO: Come into a relationship with your flaws. There are no perfect people, so if your date expects that from you, run away.

DON’T: When the date’s over, a kiss on the cheek is very acceptable, but limit yourself to applying one kiss to said cheek. Going in for a second cheek kiss? Think twice. If there’s still time, divert it to a whisper in her ear then spend your car ride home accepting that you will probably never hear from her again because you just whispered in her ear on the first date.

DON’T: Immediately check your date’s online activity when you return home after a date. If it says “active in the last 24 hours” it may begin to mess with your head. Just remember, it doesn’t mean your date is not interested. Afterall, your online activity probably has the same status message.

Thanks for reading through these last four posts! This last one is shorter than the others, on purpose. When you’re with your date, there’s something more than a list of dos and don’ts that gives you a sense of yes or no. An assurance in your gut that guides you. Your date could do all the wrong things, but you fall in love. Your date could say all the right things, but you are totally uncomfortable. Relationships are more than what to do and what not to do, they’re about chemistry. When the sparks are there, you’ll know it. So here’s my last bit of advice.

DO: Go out on dates. Enjoy exploring the city you live in. Try new food.

DON’T: Don’t, for any reason ever, give up on finding the one that will fall asleep holding your hand on a long car trip to the coast.

*****
Here’s a recap of ‘The Dos and Don’ts of Online Dating.” Enjoy.
1. Profile Picture
2. Profile Information
3. Communication

The Man Behind ‘The Dadabase’

If you log onto the internet and search for things like Jewish actors, the height of famous people, pickles, or marijuana, you’re sure to come across a website of blogs called Scenic Route Snapshots.

With little to no knowledge of any specific subject, the author of this site writes and encourages people to click on his pages, all for his silly enjoyment. Quite frankly, it’s disturbing. Who knew that this youngster had such a bright and successful future ahead? Somewhere along the way, though, things took a turn for the worse. The first sign of a decline surfaced from this theft security camera in a mall store. Forever 21.  Some suspect his life began the downward spiral when he started dating his first girlfriend… … while others doubt that theory because he was often seen at bingo night with his brother. Do either of these guys look like criminals? No. Just brothers. Most likely, his dark side flourished when his parents grounded him for a full year after discovering he joined the dangerous underground bingo gang “F.S.B.” Alone in his room with no access to other “Fourth Street Bingers” gang members, he inked his first tattoo. There were many more tattoos to come, mostly of small reptiles and one of a dolphin on his lower back. He embraced the bad boy lifestyle for the next few years, then an opportunity to escape and rebuild a life of happiness came in the form of male modeling. His signature look “Magnum” was a huge hit, and even spawned a hit movie starring Ben Stiller. His popularity, however, dropped sharply when his obssession admiration of Scott Stapp, lead singer of Creed, came to light.  He was forced to move out of the United States. Facts of his life overseas are fuzzy here, but this picture lends to the theory that he was involved in some kind of fight club. Supporting that theory is the fact that he recently was allowed back in the country, but under a new alias… Richard Shell, P.I.M.P. (and Richard was not what people called him, if you know what I mean).

Then he moved to the outskirts of a large city, fell in love, got married, and here’s the video to prove it. It’s possible he’s experienced enough to give him some sort of niche in the online world of writing, but the fella’s in F.S.B. disagree. They think his writing is elementary, only slightly enlightening, and his use of interesting details is grossly overestimated. 

Congrats, Dick! You’ve overcome so many obstacles.

The Dos And Don’ts of Online Dating: Communication

You’re success in the world of online dating depends not only on your profile picture, or profile information, but largely on how you communicate with those interested in you (similar to real-life relationships, surprise surprise). Once you’ve found a likeable someone, it’s time to initiate contact. Most dating websites recommend to send some sort of wink along with a message (chances of a response increase if you also write to them as opposed to just sending a wink). Here are a few other notes on communication… and feel free to communicate back to me on whether you agree/ disagree/ or have other dos and don’ts.

Communication:

DON’T: Dismiss somebody because their favorite things are not your favorite things.

DO: Remember variety is the spice of life. If we were all exactly the same, we’d all be awesome, but possibly a little bored. In conversation, ask them about what they like, and hopefully they’ll do the same.

DON’T: Copy and paste a “Hi, I liked your profile. Hope to hear from you!” message then send it to 5 different people.

DO: Use the option to wink (or whatever the site offers for this type of notification) at people you think are interesting. In other words, don’t wait for people to wink first. Take initiative and yes, this is for the men and the women. Women, I know it’s not “traditional” to initiate contact, but think about it this way: you don’t join a site (and pay for it) to sit and wait. Heck, you can sit and wait for free and you probably already do. So get your money’s worth. For interests you like more than just a little, write them a quick note along with the wink.

DON’T: Expect replies or winks back the same day you wink or write. This will require patience, as it will also require patience to not respond immediately to messages you’ve received. Dating is a stupid game, but unfortunately there are rules. The more you follow the rules to the game, the higher chances you have of winning. The rule that applies here: whether you’re always busy or always bored, a little mystery goes a long way. So by giving a message a few hours/days to sit, at least the other person will think you have a life.

DON’T: Get upset if a few days go by and you haven’t heard from someone you wrote or winked at.

DO: Talk to more than one potential date at a time. It’s ok to have a few irons in the fire. If you only have one in the fire, you risk hyping up the first date and nerves may get the best of you. If/when the fire burns out, all you’re left with is one dull sword. Something about having other options relieves nerves and actually improves each date, because you don’t have to be there, you can just enjoy wanting to be there.

DON’T: Have too many irons in the fire. Then you’ll dial up Judy and say, “Hey Barbara!”

DON’T: Expect a date with Judy after you called her Barbara.

DO: If you need to, re-read some messages between you and the person your conversing with. Remember a few topics you’ve already discussed so you don’t make the mistake mentioned below.

DON’T: Mention that you also love “Wicked” when, oops, that was a different person that told you they loved “Wicked.”

DO: Write original messages tailored to the recipient. What do you like about their profile information? Tell them about it.

DON’T: Guys, don’t make your first message about how pretty she is. Mention something you like about her profile information as opposed to her pictures. This shows you are paying attention to the details and not just scanning pictures for hot girls. My guess is a girl would rather hear you like that she volunteers at an orphanage first, then later you can tell her how beautiful you think her green eyes are.

DO: Keep the first message short. No reason to write a novel to someone who hasn’t signed on in over 3 weeks.

DON’T: In your first few messages, don’t be careless when you attempt humor. Making someone laugh is usually about the delivery, and when a person is reading a message, they most likely won’t read it the same way you typed it. What you write is funny to you, but may seem odd or weird to the reader and they will think twice about continuing in communication.

DO: In your messages, it’s ok to talk about yourself. But remember to ask questions as well. This invites a response and keeps the conversation going.

DON’T: Respond to anyone who winks or messages you without checking their “about my date” section. If over half of it has “no answer” listed, move on. Especially if it has “no answer” for more critical relationship information like faith, smoke, drink, and have/want kids. Most likely this profile is some kind of fraud. I’ve actually come across profiles that fit this description, and a few days later the profile was removed, confirming my suspicions.

Hopefully you’ve been able to establish a real relationship with a few matches through interesting communication. Don’t be afraid to throw in an offer to meet up either. Once you do that, and they accept, it’s time to go out on the town for your first date. Check back Monday, September 27 for more about the first encounter with your match. Thanks for reading!