Ali Fedotowsky The Bachelorette, Episode 10. The Next Bachelor Revealed?

Last night’s episode, “The Men Tell All” “Welcome The Next Bachelor: Kirk DeWindt.” Despite rumors that he’s dating Jessie Sulidis (yes, the former Jake-season contestant that outed Justin Rego), Kirk will be the next Bachelor. Please note that I haven’t read any spoilers, this is all based on my instinct and cold, hard evidence. I’ll explain now.

The show kicked off with a heart-to-heart between Chris Harrison and Ali. The discussion focused on Justin, Kasey, Kirk, Roberto and Frank. No need to explain that Justin and Kasey aren’t options for next season. And Nicole won’t let Frank leave. Roberto’s going to win (that’s my educated non-spoiler reading guess) , so next year’s Bachelor must be Kirk. Remember how they clumsily set Ali up at the end of the Jake season? Kirk is the new Ali just like “the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice.” Thank you, Dave Ramsey, for that not-totally-unrelated quote that just popped into my head.

Chris Harrison then introduced us to the bachelors who showed up for “Welcome The Next Bachelor: Kirk DeWindt,” who the heck is Kyle? My guess is he’ll be next season’s “surprise guest” that shows up to reveal startling information to Kirk, who will cry a little and say something like, “I didn’t know it was going to be this hard.” After all the introductions, the guys took turns ragging on Kasey, ripping Justin apart, and half-way defending Frank. Cut to highlights of Ali with Kasey: the awkward moments, the singing, oh wait, those are the same thing. Now here you may think, “They haven’t shown Kirk much. Is he really going to be the next Bachelor?” Yes, he is. If you missed it, here are all the words used to describe Kirk on this episode.

Sincere, great chemistry, major moment, sweetness, a lot of the qualities I’m looking for, feel safe, feel appreciated and comfortable around him, love, upbeat, positive, something missing, Kirky, think the world of you, never had heart broken before, bruised heart, inspiring, bed ridden, healthy.

Ok, some of those are taken out of context, but you’re picking up what I’m laying down, right? Kirk is next in line and if you need more proof, let’s move on through the rest of the show. Guess what’s next, more talk about Justin. However, Kirk emerges as a comedian during this segment. The crowd (of girls) applaudes vivaciously. After the break, more talk about Justin. Wow, for someone no one likes, they sure are spending a lot of time talking about him. Wait, this is about ratings. Oh, yeah. Villains have high ratings. So guess what? Let’s talk about Justin some more. More about Justin leaving messages on a social networking site. Justin and Canada. Who’s Kimberly? Jessica is the main girlfriend, Kimberly is the new one. Jessica isn’t allowed to have a Facebook account. Kimberly left wall posts on Justin’s page. Jessica signs back on and messages Kimberly. Text messages, wall posts, more than just voicemails. Valentines with Kimberly. Walks to Jessica’s. Wobbles over. Two girlfriends. Trying for a third. Justin from Toronto has a girlfriend, pictures to prove it. Phone call to Ali. Whew, I’m exhausted. Next the audience got a chance to ask questions. A girl hits on Craig R. who doesn’t understand that’s what just happened. He agrees to wrestle Justin in an olive oil ring and doesn’t understand a girl just hit on him. She sits down.

Ali comes out and runs back through the season, the ups and downs, and how she feels about Justin. Ok, producers, we get it, you want ratings. At one critical point, Ali said it was hard to say goodbye to people she really cared about and they cut to a shot of Kirk smiling. Chris Harrison gives Kirk a chance to speak to Ali, he says he’s ready to find somebody to spend the rest of his life with. Come on, people! Isn’t it obvious? And is it just me or is Ali’s upper lip getting smaller?

Kasey sings a song, we see some bloopers, here it goes: dancing guys, Ali laughing, Kirk landing on stiff bed, Roberto’s crotch, Ali says idealacise, wants to do it with Roberto, dog barking, Ty barking, mom jokes, Ali as Legolas, mouse, beeps. Then highlights of the two remaining bachelors, Roberto and Chris L.

Check back next week to read my recap of Roberto proposing to Ali in episode 11!

Click here for Chris L. tattoo pictures!

Personalities: The Database

Extremely helpful a few years ago during tapings of “Who Wants To Be A Millionnaire?,” The Database would top the phone-a-friend list. Anything from car maintenance, to Presidential history, to the latest celebrity divorce, this person is a Captain of IMDb on steriods. If they had a slogan, it would be this: “The Database: They Know Much About Much.” Having the ability to retain large quantities of information in a way that’s easily accessible is a rare asset. Much like athletes with some talent can be coached and trained to be better athletes, people can learn skills to make them better at memorization, therefore becoming a better “Database.” But just like the best athletes are born that way, Databases were born with a nack for knowledge. Take this girl I know… she’s in her early thirties and seems to know about everything that crosses her path. Either because it’s crossed her path before or she’s learned from other peoples paths that were crossed. She is very good at her job because of this. People of all ages come to her because they’re confident she’ll know the answer to whatever inquiry they have. To earn this reputation can be invaluable in a career, that’s for sure. Socially, The Database’s ability to retain information could come in handy (ie. phone-a-friend), but plays a relatively low factor in the ability to make friends and/or keep them. It’s possible for The Database to take on qualities of other personality types (listed below), however, sharing traits of The Dark Horse or The Satellite could spell disaster and/or doom.

Where you’ll see this person in American society? On Jeopardy. Not on Wheel of Fortune (where you’ll find the Indiana Jones’ and The Party’s).

Here is a list of personalities. The next time you’re hanging out with your friends, sit back and observe. I bet there are a few of these in your group!

“The Weird Guy”

“Indiana Jones of the South(west Airlines)”

“The Party”

“The Thinker”

“The Satellite”

“The Dark Horse”

“The Database”

“Captains of IMDb”

“Justin Texterlake”

Ali Fedotowsky The Bachelorette, Episode 9.

The only thing more frightening than the Haunted House ride at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida is…. a Frank mental breakdown! As predicted in the episode 1 recap, Frank sealed his fate this episode when he left Ali for a love interest back home. Let’s get personal, though. I’m at Disney World and I think I need therapy. I almost skipped Splash Mountain and Pirates of the Carribbean so I could stay in the hotel room to watch the Bachelorette. Sad day in my life, to be sure. I can guess what happened though. Frank freaked, Ali cried, Chris L. consoled, Roberto comforted. Chris and Roberto were shocked by frank, Ali cried and questioned her Bachelorette existence, and did Chris Harrison say, “Coming up, the most dramatic reveal in bachelorette history,”? Oh, Chris Harrison! Frank is gone, but the real loser is me. Because I’m sitting outside my Disney hotel room typing on my Droid about a show I didn’t even watch when I should be packing my lunch and playing wih my nieces. Mourn for me. And check back next week for a recap of whatever they’re showing, perhaps “The Men Tell All”?

Music Roulette: 50 Songs in 1 Paragraph

How many songs can you identify? The first hint is that there are fifty songs listed, and each song lyric connects to the next through one or more overlapping words. Good luck! (you can look at the key words listed on this post for some help!)

I miss those blue eyes. How you kiss me at night, I miss the way we sleeps tonight. Aweemba wop, aweemba wop, a weemba wopbobaloobop a wop bam boom shake, shake, shake the room. She was struck down, it was her doom. Annie, are you ok? So, Annie are you still mine? I need your love. Godspeed your love to me, wanna talk about I, wanna talk about number one, oh my me my, what I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see, by the dawn’s early light? What so proudly we hailed at the cross, at the cross where I first saw the light, and the burden of my heart breaks, no, it don’t break even if he promised me the world. Just remember I’m forever your girl you know it’s true. Ooo ooo oooo, I love you every step of the way and I will always love you so, promise I’ll never let you go, in the still of the night. In the still of the Britney song was on, and the Britney song was on, and the Britney song was on a white, sandy beach of Hawai’i. The sound of the ocean soothes my name and it’s probably ’cause you think you’re cooler than me burn, but that’s alright because I like the way it hurts, I like the end. And you could have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down, I will make you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. Take it on the run, baby. If that’s the way you want it, baby, then I don’t want you around ’cause you know where I’ll be found, when I come around. And when you smile that smile the whole world turns upside down. Whenever you come around the corner when she comes. She’ll be coming around the corner. That’s me in the spotlight losing my song. It is my song. Now I live every day like there will never be a last one till they’re gone, like Frank Sinatra. Like Elvis and his mom. Like Al Pacino’s cash, nothing lasts in this life, back to reality. Back to life, back to me, will you? Baby, just come to my window, crawl inside, wait by the light of the moon, you saw me standing alone, without a dream in my heart for the first time, and I was like baby, baby, baby. Oh, baby you, you got what I need. But you say he’s just a friend. But you say I only hear what I want to: I don’t listen hard, don’t pay attention to the distance that you’re running down a dream that never would come from, rain is a good thing. Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey. Whiskey makes my girl. Talking ’bout my girl. My chick bad, my chick hood. My chick do stuff that yo’ chick wish she could be the one. He’s lightning. Spark’s are flyin’. Everywhere I go he’s always on my mind. You were always on my minds. And we can’t build our dreams on suspicious minds eye, I see your face, you smile as you show me grace. In my woody I would take you everywhere I go. So I say from me to you, I will make your dreams come true. Do you still love me tomorrow? Tonight with words unspoken, you said I’m the only one life, but we’re not the same. We get to carry each other. Carrying your love with me. West Virginia down to Tennessee. Take me to another place. Take me to another land, this land is my land, from California, to the New York Islands in the stream, that is what we are. No one in between, how can we be wrong? Sail away with me, to be on the ground. Your head is there to move your around. So stand.

Ali Fedotowsky The Bachelorette, Top Three Bachelors.

Ali Fedotowsky’s narrowed it down to her top three: Roberto, Frank, and Chris L. Most of us probably have seen the previews that Frank leaves the show by his choice. Rumors are that when he went back to his hometown (episode 8 recap) he rekindled a flame with an old girlfriend. So if that’s true and Frank goes home, that’ll leave Roberto and Chris L. for the season finale. When this season started, I made some predictions on who would make it into the top three. I chose Roberto, Justin, and Kirk. Here was my take on each of the recent contenders, as noted after episode 1.

Roberto: 26-year-old who recently moved to Charleston, SC. He grew up in Tampa, FL learning to admire his parents and wants a relationship like theirs. When he first met Ali, he complimented her, and she complimented him. He also spoke Spanish to her and said he’d teach her to salsa dance. He hadn’t said his name yet so Ali said she’d just call him “Cutie.” Roberto emerges quickly as a fan favorite, and the producers will edit the show that way. He got the first impression rose.
My take: Top three. I expect him to last a long time this season because he seems very likeable.

Frank: 30- or 31-year-old from Chicago or Geneva. He tells Ali that he quit his job to chase his dreams. When he found out Ali was The Bachelorette, he was very excited. He’s the Clark Kent of this season. He’s already said he loves Ali, and they’re getting married. Arriving at the mansion to meet Ali, he climbs out the limo sunroof, so needless to say he’s got a flare for the dramatic. He seems nice, he’s adventurous and sees that same quality in Ali.
My take: he’s a firecracker, so Ali better be careful that he doesn’t blow up. I predict he’ll have some sort of meltdown which will cause his elimination. Top ten, possibly top five because producers love drama.

Chris L.: 32-year-old from Cape Cod, Massachussetts. He moved to New York to teach at an inner-city public school. This will possibly set him up as an emotional favorite. When he met Ali, he acted a bit creepy. He uses words like “wicked” and lives with his dad, near his brothers. His mom died recently. Again, the emotional favorite.
My take: There’s something guilty about him that I don’t trust. I think it’s his teeth, however, I put him in the top ten, possibly top five.

Kirk: 27-year-old from Green Bay, Wisconsin. He cleverly made a rose out of a red napkin when he first met Ali. Later in the show, he also gave her a homemade scrapbook highlighting his personality. The guys made fun of him for this.
My take: girls like guys that spend time doing something special for them. If he keeps this up, he will go far. Top three.

Justin: 26-year-old entertainment wrestler from Toronto, Canada. He claims he’s a villain in the ring, Mr. Rated-R, but opposite in real life. He appeared comfortable upon meeting Ali, though he was on crutches. In episode 1, he got some one-on-one time and explained the broken foot. Although some guys doubt, he claims he’s “there for the right reasons.” He also received a first impression rose, even after the guys vote him as the one who’s there for the wrong reasons.
My take: Some guys are threatened by him, so they want him eliminated. He seems genuine. Top three because either the audience will love him, or love to hate him, and this is a show producer’s dream.