The only thing more frightening than the Haunted House ride at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida is…. a Frank mental breakdown! As predicted in the episode 1 recap, Frank sealed his fate this episode when he left Ali for a love interest back home. Let’s get personal, though. I’m at Disney World and I think I need therapy. I almost skipped Splash Mountain and Pirates of the Carribbean so I could stay in the hotel room to watch the Bachelorette. Sad day in my life, to be sure. I can guess what happened though. Frank freaked, Ali cried, Chris L. consoled, Roberto comforted. Chris and Roberto were shocked by frank, Ali cried and questioned her Bachelorette existence, and did Chris Harrison say, “Coming up, the most dramatic reveal in bachelorette history,”? Oh, Chris Harrison! Frank is gone, but the real loser is me. Because I’m sitting outside my Disney hotel room typing on my Droid about a show I didn’t even watch when I should be packing my lunch and playing wih my nieces. Mourn for me. And check back next week for a recap of whatever they’re showing, perhaps “The Men Tell All”?
Music Roulette: 50 Songs in 1 Paragraph
How many songs can you identify? The first hint is that there are fifty songs listed, and each song lyric connects to the next through one or more overlapping words. Good luck! (you can look at the key words listed on this post for some help!)
I miss those blue eyes. How you kiss me at night, I miss the way we sleeps tonight. Aweemba wop, aweemba wop, a weemba wopbobaloobop a wop bam boom shake, shake, shake the room. She was struck down, it was her doom. Annie, are you ok? So, Annie are you still mine? I need your love. Godspeed your love to me, wanna talk about I, wanna talk about number one, oh my me my, what I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see, by the dawn’s early light? What so proudly we hailed at the cross, at the cross where I first saw the light, and the burden of my heart breaks, no, it don’t break even if he promised me the world. Just remember I’m forever your girl you know it’s true. Ooo ooo oooo, I love you every step of the way and I will always love you so, promise I’ll never let you go, in the still of the night. In the still of the Britney song was on, and the Britney song was on, and the Britney song was on a white, sandy beach of Hawai’i. The sound of the ocean soothes my name and it’s probably ’cause you think you’re cooler than me burn, but that’s alright because I like the way it hurts, I like the end. And you could have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down, I will make you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. Take it on the run, baby. If that’s the way you want it, baby, then I don’t want you around ’cause you know where I’ll be found, when I come around. And when you smile that smile the whole world turns upside down. Whenever you come around the corner when she comes. She’ll be coming around the corner. That’s me in the spotlight losing my song. It is my song. Now I live every day like there will never be a last one till they’re gone, like Frank Sinatra. Like Elvis and his mom. Like Al Pacino’s cash, nothing lasts in this life, back to reality. Back to life, back to me, will you? Baby, just come to my window, crawl inside, wait by the light of the moon, you saw me standing alone, without a dream in my heart for the first time, and I was like baby, baby, baby. Oh, baby you, you got what I need. But you say he’s just a friend. But you say I only hear what I want to: I don’t listen hard, don’t pay attention to the distance that you’re running down a dream that never would come from, rain is a good thing. Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey. Whiskey makes my girl. Talking ’bout my girl. My chick bad, my chick hood. My chick do stuff that yo’ chick wish she could be the one. He’s lightning. Spark’s are flyin’. Everywhere I go he’s always on my mind. You were always on my minds. And we can’t build our dreams on suspicious minds eye, I see your face, you smile as you show me grace. In my woody I would take you everywhere I go. So I say from me to you, I will make your dreams come true. Do you still love me tomorrow? Tonight with words unspoken, you said I’m the only one life, but we’re not the same. We get to carry each other. Carrying your love with me. West Virginia down to Tennessee. Take me to another place. Take me to another land, this land is my land, from California, to the New York Islands in the stream, that is what we are. No one in between, how can we be wrong? Sail away with me, to be on the ground. Your head is there to move your around. So stand.
Ali Fedotowsky The Bachelorette, Top Three Bachelors.
Ali Fedotowsky’s narrowed it down to her top three: Roberto, Frank, and Chris L. Most of us probably have seen the previews that Frank leaves the show by his choice. Rumors are that when he went back to his hometown (episode 8 recap) he rekindled a flame with an old girlfriend. So if that’s true and Frank goes home, that’ll leave Roberto and Chris L. for the season finale. When this season started, I made some predictions on who would make it into the top three. I chose Roberto, Justin, and Kirk. Here was my take on each of the recent contenders, as noted after episode 1.
Roberto: 26-year-old who recently moved to Charleston, SC. He grew up in Tampa, FL learning to admire his parents and wants a relationship like theirs. When he first met Ali, he complimented her, and she complimented him. He also spoke Spanish to her and said he’d teach her to salsa dance. He hadn’t said his name yet so Ali said she’d just call him “Cutie.” Roberto emerges quickly as a fan favorite, and the producers will edit the show that way. He got the first impression rose.
My take: Top three. I expect him to last a long time this season because he seems very likeable.
Frank: 30- or 31-year-old from Chicago or Geneva. He tells Ali that he quit his job to chase his dreams. When he found out Ali was The Bachelorette, he was very excited. He’s the Clark Kent of this season. He’s already said he loves Ali, and they’re getting married. Arriving at the mansion to meet Ali, he climbs out the limo sunroof, so needless to say he’s got a flare for the dramatic. He seems nice, he’s adventurous and sees that same quality in Ali.
My take: he’s a firecracker, so Ali better be careful that he doesn’t blow up. I predict he’ll have some sort of meltdown which will cause his elimination. Top ten, possibly top five because producers love drama.
Chris L.: 32-year-old from Cape Cod, Massachussetts. He moved to New York to teach at an inner-city public school. This will possibly set him up as an emotional favorite. When he met Ali, he acted a bit creepy. He uses words like “wicked” and lives with his dad, near his brothers. His mom died recently. Again, the emotional favorite.
My take: There’s something guilty about him that I don’t trust. I think it’s his teeth, however, I put him in the top ten, possibly top five.
Kirk: 27-year-old from Green Bay, Wisconsin. He cleverly made a rose out of a red napkin when he first met Ali. Later in the show, he also gave her a homemade scrapbook highlighting his personality. The guys made fun of him for this.
My take: girls like guys that spend time doing something special for them. If he keeps this up, he will go far. Top three.
Justin: 26-year-old entertainment wrestler from Toronto, Canada. He claims he’s a villain in the ring, Mr. Rated-R, but opposite in real life. He appeared comfortable upon meeting Ali, though he was on crutches. In episode 1, he got some one-on-one time and explained the broken foot. Although some guys doubt, he claims he’s “there for the right reasons.” He also received a first impression rose, even after the guys vote him as the one who’s there for the wrong reasons.
My take: Some guys are threatened by him, so they want him eliminated. He seems genuine. Top three because either the audience will love him, or love to hate him, and this is a show producer’s dream.
Professionally Active
As a student growing up in the American educational system, we are taught how to face the “real world.” We learn how to add, subtract, spell words, write words, interact with peers and authorities, and how to be successful. 
Most of the success we experience is due to reactive behavior. The teacher asks the student to do something, the student does it, the student is rewarded if what he did was good. The pattern of being told what to do, doing it, and being judged on what was done begins in pre-school and continues through college. Likewise, though, the teachers are doing the same thing. They are told what to teach and they do it. To say this reactive behavior is ingrained in us (as educated Americans) is an obvious observation. Is it surprising, then, that employers look for proactive behavior when hiring? Yes. But perhaps the most successful people are the ones that balance the reactive and the proactive. They reactively recreate what has already been established. Then they proactively implement that into mainstream currency. The well-balanced person is Professionally Active. They recreate. They procreate.
Ali Fedotowsky The Bachelorette, Episode 8.
The only solace I have today is knowing that George Steinbrenner was alive long enough to see Ali meet the remaining four bachelor’s families. Talk about weight lifted off the shoulders. Wooo. *wiping nervous sweat from forehead*
First up on the hometown visit episode was Roberto. He takes Ali to the University of Tampa’s baseball field, where he played in college. They walked around the field and practiced batting and fielding. Clearly Ali is smitten with Roberto but an expert Bachelorette consultant friend of mine pointed out that Roberto doesn’t seem to be reciprocating the affection quite as much. Holy Justin Bieber, Batman! This could be crucial info as the season comes to a close. Ali and Roberto did more baseball related things, which apparently makes Ali laugh because she laughed quite a bit throughout the baseball field tour.
Ali: “Today’s date had all the elements I want in life.”
Yeah, first base, second base, third base… places you’ve already been with how many bachelors? Hiiiyoooo! Later Ali meets Roberto’s family. His dad pulled Roberto aside and called him “a big price.” I love when parents are encouraging. So much of what’s wrong in the world (and in this show!) would be remedied if parents would love their children and encourage them. Justin Bieber! I didn’t mean to get deep so quick. Sorry. Before the hometown date was over, Ali mentioned she’s getting cold feet. I only hear that phrase when it’s related to a wedding. Interesting.
The next hometown date was with Chris L. If I had to describe Chris in a few words: solid, genuine, deep. We learn from this date that Chris comes from good stock. His dad is cool, his brothers are cool, and his sister-in-laws are cool. They live by the motto: “Love is the only reality.” While they were all talking, Chris’ sister-in-law asked Ali about the tennis bracelet he gave her in Portugal. My only question is, will Roberto mail the bracelet back to Chris L. when the show is over? There’s a Lambton circle of trust, and Ali won’t make it in.
Kirk Sir-Smiles-A-Lot hosted Ali in his hometown next. His parents are divorced so this date will include two separate visits with his dad then his mom. Turns out Kirk’s dad is passionate and professional about stuffed animals. Literally. Real animals. Stuffed. He brings Ali down to the basement to show her his trophies.
Ali: “What is this thing?”
Kirk’s Dad: “What that is, is a caribou foot that I put eyes on.”
Ali: “Wow.”
Unfortunately, this little visit didn’t seem to please Ali, which will not award Kirk any points. She probably thinks of Kirk as an apple that won’t fall from the tree. On a sidenote, Kirk’s dad if you’re reading this, I have a few moles digging up my yard that I’d love to have taxidermied. Email me. Part two of this date is at the home of Kirk’s mother. The headlines from this portion are that the cheesy potatoes were a big hit. That’s about as interesting as it got for the rest of that date.
The final hometown date was in Chicago with I’m-Wearing-A-V-Neck-That’s-Not-Really-A-V-Neck Frank. They meet on the Navy Pier, run to each other and hug. In a raspy voice, Frank says, “Ali.” They take a boat ride across the water, aaaand scene! On the boat ride, Frank revealed some of his insecurities about the relationship, which surprised Ali. Eight episodes into the season and this is the first time we hear of Frank’s doubts? Whatever happened to reality television? I’m suspicious that somewhere deep in the bowels of ABC there’s a host of writers along with a team of producers along with a pack of wolves along with Kasey who’s pitching songs he makes up on the fly.
In the end, roses went to Roberto, Chris L., and Frank in that order. It was Kirk’s time to go home, so he made like a pelican and flew out of there.
Out of the Wilderness 