Layers

Just got back from taking my dog for a walk. It’s so cold outside. She’s by the heater now.

Piper, the heater, Elvis lamp

I know, it’s February, it’s supposed to be cold. But it’s my choice to like it or not, and I choose not. Consider this a personal invitation for you to come baaaaaack! Yes, I’m talking to you Summer.

Summer, you're invited

The last muscle of my body to freeze up was my brain, so I used it to take notice of the wind. Today’s a windy day in Nashville. Wind makes colder the already cold air. In my natural desire to survive, I turned my back to the wind so the brunt of the coldness was absorbed or deflected by my jacket and hood and I thought to myself, “This is why I layered up.” The more layers I have between my skin and the undesirable, the better. “I’m a genius,” I thought to myself. The only exposed part of my body was my face, so I did what I could to keep it from direct contact with the wind.

Piper walk

And while my dog nosey’d on through neighboring yards, I began to compare the layers I was wearing to the layers I wear between me and other people. I protect myself against the undesirable. Why don’t I approach that pretty girl? Why don’t I take public speaking opportunities? Why don’t I give my money more freely? I find a reason to instead check my phone for messages.

Verizon on Motorola Droid

I say my schedule is already too busy. I think I should save, save, save for when I really need the money.

Savings account

Those are all excuses and excuses are just layers between me and the potentional for rejection, embarrassment, or need. To strip away these layers? Yes, I may face some undesirable outcomes, but why not assume the best? There is just as much an opportunity for acceptance, success, and freedom. So I guess the challenge is to face the undesirable, hope for the best, and jump in with both feet. Will you accept the challenge? Will I?

How many challenges did He-Man turn down? Zero.

He-Man and Battlecat

Then and Now and Later

Writing is something I started doing simply as a hobby. It was a way to document what was going on in my life (I have journals dating back to 1997 as a freshman at Florida State University). It’s also a good way to release some emotion, whether it be happy posts like Mustache Friday, or more thoughtful posts like Learn Slow But Steadfast and Where Are All The Men. And yes, the occasional feisty post, Pet Peeves. But I am excited to reach 40,000 views! And along with that milestone, I also just published my 100th post. Thank you for reading. Like I said, it’s a hobby and I truly enjoy it. To have people read, comment and like what I write, it means a whole lot. To celebrate, I’d like to toss a few ideas out there and write about the idea that gets the most feedback. Please respond and with the majority support, it shall be done!

Here are the choices:

The Side Hug

A Love Story, Part 5 (continued from here: A Love Story, Part 1)

Nashville Intersections

Funny City Names on a Normal U.S. Map

Beagle Up! An Uneducated Diagram of Beagle Body Parts And Why They Are Built That Way.

The Odd One Out

In a crowded room, do you ever feel like everyone knows something you don’t? When I go to Los Angeles, California that’s how I feel. Everyone’s trying to be somebody. Everyone wants everyone else to think they are somebody. If you don’t drive a Porsche or a Ferrari then you’re not quite successful. If you don’t have a view of the ocean or live in a gated community, then you’re not totally awesome. Status. If people see you in a nice car or owning a nice home overlooking Paradise Cove in Malibu, then you’re somebody.

Paradise Cove, Malibu, CA

Well, I know something they don’t; we don’t have to be ‘on’ all the time. Feel free to apply that to material possessions, career accomplishments, or personalities. It’s cool that you’re funny, but you don’t always have to be funny. It’s cool that you’re a serious person, but you don’t always have to be serious. If you’re an adventurous person, it’s ok if you’re boring sometimes. In the end, it won’t matter who you entertained and how much people liked you. It’s ok to be a boring person. If that’s what makes you truly feel alive, then be the best boring person you can be. There’s something refreshing about a confident person who knows when to be ‘on’ and when to lay low. When to tell a joke, and when to be silent. When to offer a hug, or threaten a punch. When to be the Porsche and when to be the Honda.

The Bachelor Brad Womack, Episode 5: Fantasy Bachelor.

Bachelor Party
From left to right: Couch- Anna, Naomi, Nameless Guy #2, Nameless Guy #1. Floor left: Chris, Ben

 

Episode 5 (01/31/2011)

I have a confession for all you Bachelor readers out there. I’m the self-appointed Commissioner of The Bachelor Fantasy League in Nashville, Tennessee. And when I say Nashville, I mean 8 of my friends. It’s set up a lot like fantasy football with points for different things that could happen each episode. For instance, when a bachelorette kisses Brad Womack, that’s +3 points. Getting a rose is +6 points. Negative points include crying (-1), saying anything about “commitment issues” (-2) and a few other random occurrences. Honestly, and I’m not exaggerating at all, it’s the greatest thing ever. For episode five, I invited League Members to my house. As photographed above, Nameless Guy #1 and #2 were also in attendance. Most of the conversation revolved around the question, “Is Michelle crazy or just forward?” A few doubts were raised about Emily as well. Obviously Mack Braddy feels strongly for Emily, as made evident in the number of moments he took her aside for some one-on-one time. He defended himself by saying he would do the same for any bachelorette he felt needed support.

Shawntel was honored to have the only one-on-one date which went really, really well for her. Just think, even if her time on the show ends with no rose at the final ceremony, she loaded up on some goods that’ll last her longer than an engagement to Brad would. She’s already won. In a bachelor-esque twist, both Ashley’s joined Brad for a two-on-one date. I wouldn’t give my left leg to be Brad on that date. I was sure he’d send Ashley H. home after her breakdown last week, but he ended up sending Ashley S. (the girl from the Seal date) home. I can’t fault him for that, she’s only 22 years old and still has some growing up to do. He’s 38 if you forgot.

Roses went to: Shawntel, Emily, Ashley H., Michelle, Alli, Britt, Jackie, Chantal O. Sent home: Ashley S., Lisa M., Marissa.

The preview for next week in Costa Rica looked promising. You may ask, “Ben, what can I take away from your recap of episode five?” My answer: Honestly, not much. But I’ll leave you with three take aways… 1. I still like Shawntel the most, 2. Emily will not be offered the final rose, 3. Nashville Fantasy Bachelor is the single greatest contribution I’ve given to this world.

Check back next week for a recap of Episode 6, and to find out if I’ve come up with something better to contribute to the world.

The Bachelor Brad Womack, Episode 4: You Better Accept the Damn Rose.

Bachelor Brad Womack episode 4. 01/24/2011.

I defy you to tell me Michelle isn’t more likable after this episode. Just a leeeeeeetle more likable. It’s ok to admit it. I admitted it to myself and a couple of guys who, by request will remain nameless, watched the show with me. Strange? Perhaps. Embarrassing? Maybe. But we don’t care. Every Monday we three men get together and watch The Bachelor. It’s fine. We’re fine. We’re straight. We’re confident. We’re fine. We weed out the girls Brad should and shouldn’t give a rose to, who we like the most, and sort of all know we’re secretly hoping Emily leaves without a rose so one of us have a chance with her. Nameless guy #1 thinks they’re setting her up to be next season’s Bachelorette. I have my doubts. So let’s move on to episode four…

The first one-on-one date was with Chantal O. They did a poor man’s version of scuba diving. They wore these helmet things that were connected to an oxygen source up in the boat they came from. Why she and Brad tried to have a glass-to-glass kiss is beyond me, but hey, who am I to assume it’s not possible? If Spiderman is allowed to kiss upside down, then Braddy Mack is allowed to try a glass kiss. Anyway, after the underwater walk, they move to phase two- a romantic date on the beach. They obviously open up here about their past and the conversation gets deep and dull (for us the viewers). Chantal finally apologized for slapping him when they first met, but come on, she’s not really sorry. Hitting is the most flirty way to say “I like you.” Brad said that this day felt like a normal day, one he’d have in real life and with no glass to separate them, they kiss. He offered her the first rose of the evening and she accepted it.

Next was the group date. They rattled off the names way too fast for me to write them all down, so let’s just say he took a bunch of girls that’ll be eliminated later this season. I suppose I could run the DVR back and check each name. Sigh. It’s decision time. Is it worth it to turn the tv back on, rewind it, oh and I have to get up to get the tv controller, my dog’ll get up assuming I want to play, she’ll bite my hand, I’ll have to scold her, then give her a treat for sitting and shaking, wash my hands, wonder where the controller went, oh man my dog took it, why is she hiding under the table, give me the controller Piper!, she thinks it’s a game, darn she chewed a button off, I demand her to “come here” (she’s been learning this), she doesn’t, I wait for her because I can’t let her win, she eventually answers the call with the controller in her mouth, I have to wipe it off, I accidently hit a random button that fires up “input #4” and I can’t figure out what is on the tv screen now, check the clock, what!! it’s already 10:45, I can’t watch the episode now, “Piper get in bed,” so I brush my teeth and climb in bed without even posting this post, soooo no, I’m not gonna look up their names.

On the group date, they all went to the radio studio where the live show “Loveline” airs. Dr. Drew and Mike ask Mack Braddy questions and then ask the girls questions. If you recall, Britt actually shined the most here, showing a vulnerable cute side that Brad fell for. Unfortunately, an early favorite got bit by the jealous monster. He’s been biting some of these girls lately, that rascal. Who was the victim? Ashley H. I don’t normally use course language, but let’s be honest, she was acting like an Ash-hole. During the radio show, Stacey opted to take the “I hope my honesty makes me look good even though what I’m being honest about makes me look worse than the Ash-hole over there” route, and it’ll come back to haunt her later when the no-rose monster pays her a visit.

What’s up with this season of girls looking way different without makeup on? I mean, Ashley S., yowzers. Can I get an “Amen!” Call me superficial but I know I’m not the only one who also noticed how much different Chantal O. looks with glasses on. The camera adds ten pounds, but where did the other 20 come from? Those glasses shall be removed from YOUR FACE if thee wishes to win Brad’s heart. Ding ding, I included a “YOUR FACE” joke. Nameless guy #3 who blogs about the bachelor will like that I did this joke.

Later at the group date dinner, Ashley S. steals Braddy away from Alli. Jackie steals Braddy away from Ashley S. The girls begin to grumble about Ashley H. Britt admits to Brad she has a crush on him. They kiss passionately. Then Monster Mashley showed up and Brad wondered what the heck she’s doing being so caddy. Evenso, Brad later joined the girls in the hot tub with a rose to give. He was going to give it to Ashley H. till she made another under-her-breath comment, and he gave the rose to Britt instead.

The second one-on-one date went to Michelle. Why do the girls dislike her so much? What has she done different than any of the other girls? I think it’s because she barks and threatens to bite, but check this out: how many times has she talked behind a girls back? How many times has she said one thing and done another? One or less for either of those questions. She’s pretty darn genuine even if it’s not the way the other girls prefer her to act. That’s what they don’t like about her, she’s not like them. She’s the anti-hero to Emily’s hero. And yet, they both have Brad’s full attention.

Towards the end of the episode, Shawntel got some alone time. Meghan also got some time with him, but they sat far apart on the couch. Nothing says “I want you” like distance. She’s like that guy in that movie that no one remembers, you know who I’m talking about… that one guy, he does the thing. Oh forget it, she won’t make it much longer.

Just before the rose ceremony, Brad took Emily out to the stony entrance of the mansion for a picnic. He, like us, is trying hard to find something wrong with her. Good luck with that. He’s totally comfortable, as shown just after he laid the picnic blanket down. When he stood back up, he did a little hop step. I’m telling you, he’s giddy. Ali Roberto giddy.

Finally, Chantal cried a little but was reassured when Brad reassured her to rest assured that she’s safe. They kissed. Got to admit, they have a good real-life connection. We’ll have to see how that plays out, but for this episode she got a rose, as did Chantal, Britt, Michelle (all three from the dates earlier), Ashley S., Alli, Emily, Shawntel N., Lisa, Jackie, Marissa and Ashley H. Sent home were Meghan, Stacey and Lindsay.

Quotes of the episode:
Braddy to Chantal O. on their date: You better accept the damn rose.

Braddy: I like you Britt.
Britt: Me, too.